Often, the most important person in an addict’s turn to recovery is his or her mother, but it’s a perspective that we don’t often hear. In our Infinite Recovery Mom Stories series, mothers of people in recovery have the opportunity to speak firsthand about the pain of having a child struggling with addiction, the love that drives them to seek help for their child and the transformative power of the recovery process. Mary shares her story: Recovery Saved My Daughter.
My name is Mary, and I’m blessed to be the mother of a daughter who has struggled with the disease of addiction. My beautiful daughter Brittany is now nearly five years into her own recovery.
My background in nursing and law could have never prepared me for Brittany’s active addiction. In fact, it honestly made things worse. My formal medical training worked against me in the way that I was taught to opt for the least-evasive method, when addiction requires direct and brutally honest methods.
Teen angst, alcohol, and drug experimentation sent her over the edge and down the hellish path. Brittany’s opioid addiction almost destroyed us. What began with pain pills, anxiety pills, and other medications progressed to street drugs and ultimately heroin. We could have never imagined our sweet, social daughter, the same daughter that adored her father and attended Catholic school, would soon be using drugs. The disease of addiction affects everyone in the family. It is painful to love an addict who is not in recovery. Family members can become as sick as the addict. Addiction harms everyone involved from the chaos, anger, broken promises and loss of trust it brings. Addiction humbled and brought me to my knees, begging God for guidance and understanding. The most important thing I learned from answered prayers and this mysterious, insidious disease was that I had to surrender and to allow my daughter to find her own way into recovery.
Contrary to popular belief, the addict may not always want to get sober. Brittany tells us to this day that she tried recovery “one more time because I just wanted to stop hurting, I wasn’t even thinking about the drugs.” She was offered the chance to go to a drug rehab in Austin, TX and accepted because she didn’t know what else to do. During her recovery at that Austin, Texas rehab, I learned that I had to work just as hard on my own issues and recovery to heal. In order to “let go”, I went to 12 step support groups and worked the steps with a sponsor who was also a nurse. I learned not to obsess over my daughter’s prescription opioid recovery. I learned this by making many hard and painful mistakes. How I wish I could say I learned the lessons my mistakes taught the first time. It has taken many failures for me to understand them. Most importantly, I have learned to love, care, become more patient with addiction, and forgive myself. The medical community now recognizes addiction as a disease. Hopefully, this will lead to more understanding and acceptance of it. My prayer is that this dissolves the shame that has kept it hidden and secret for ages.
As a family, we still make mistakes, make amends, and forgive each other. We realize that working on our individual and our family’s recovery will always be a continuing process. As we grow, our love for one another deepens and we feel very blessed by this realization. There is hope and help for those who seek it with an open heart and mind. Never give up.
Today, our lives are entirely different. Brittany is nearly five years sober, fully self-supporting, in a healthy relationship with a man that adores her and supports her both emotionally and spiritually, and is a loving mother to her own child. Watching my daughter raise her son is the greatest joy of my entire life – to know that our family has come back from the brink of collapse, and Brittany has grown up to be the woman I always knew she could be. Recovery saved my daughter’s life, my marriage, restored my own peace of mind, and ultimately gave me my grandson.
– Mary Hughes-Bass, mother of a person in long-term recovery
Your family can experience the same freedom and happiness that Mary and Brittany have. Call Infinite Recovery today at (844) 206-9063 or submit your information online for a free 30-minute consultation with a licensed heroin and opioid specialist.